Well, I did it.
Even though there were times I feared I wouldn’t be able to complete the audiobook, Goodbye Again is now available through Audible, iTunes, and Amazon.
And just as with writing and publishing the print and eBook versions, the release of the audiobook is presenting me with the opportunity to hold multiple feelings at once:
I am relieved.
After spending the previous eight months on this project, I now turn the page – so to speak – on Goodbye Again. This does not mean it’s over – I still need to follow through with the after-release tasks: publicizing and marketing the audiobook. But compared to the release of Goodbye Again in print, when the burden to promote its launch became an overwhelming enterprise, I now realize that promoting my memoir is a forever task. For the rest of my life, somewhere in the vastness of my mind, I will be thinking about how to reach more people with my story. Because that is the goal: people need to know about the long-term impact of relinquishment and adoption on first parents and their families, and the use of personal narratives is one of the best ways to achieve that goal.
I am sad.
The release of the audiobook has exposed more layers of grief. In a way, it feels like another goodbye to Michael… and what I am truly understanding is that I will never stop saying goodbye.
Also, with the completion of the audiobook, I now close the door on what has been a nearly five-year project. I do so with pride for the accomplishment and deep gratitude to the many people who supported, guided, and cheered me along the way.
I am exhausted.
Little did I know the emotional toll of narrating and, more importantly, listening to the story in my own voice. No one told me how profoundly the scenes would replay in my head, nor how deeply I would mourn all over again.
I am energized.
It is spring in Alaska – well, at least where I live, and my job as a seasonal Interpretive Park Ranger in Denali National Park & Preserve began last week. With the lengthening days and warmer weather, I wake inspired to start each day, thankful for all I have.
What am I working on now?
Because – gasp – how can I not have at least one iron in the fire? As a volunteer with Concerned United Birthparents, I am facilitating an exciting and powerful new offering: the CUB Writing Group. This group is specifically for first/birth parents who are interested in using writing to process their relinquishment and adoption experiences. This once-a-month group provides a safe and supportive space to write collectively, using writing prompts and other tools to facilitate creativity. Sign up here.
What’s next?
I’ve pitched some podcasts and am developing a presentation for the Activism in Adoption series sponsored by On Your Feet Foundation, which will take place this fall.
Books of Note
Many new adoption-related books have already been released in 2024; here is a small selection of the ones I’ve read and recommend:
Susan Kiyo Ito’s I Would Meet You Anywhere: A Memoir offers an intimate account of one adopted person’s journey to reconnect with her birth mother. She chronicles the relational push/pull common to those of us in adoptionland, and as a first mother and an author, I appreciate Susan’s candid approach and elegant writing style.
Gretchen Sisson’s Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood examines the complex interplay between adoption, privilege, and the ideals of American motherhood, shedding light on the broader cultural and systemic factors that shape the adoption landscape. We are in a political moment in which adoption is increasingly being revealed as an institution devoted to separating families and policing parenthood under the guise of feel-good family-building. Rooted in a long-term study, Relinquished features the in-depth testimonies of American mothers who placed their children for domestic adoption.
Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies, authored by Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), and Lori Holden (adoptive parent), interviewed dozens of adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, social workers, therapists, and other allies—all sharing candidly about the challenges in adoption.
Reach Out
As always, if you’d like me to join your book club, invite me to speak, or discuss relinquishment and adoption, comment here or use the links below. Also, do you have any favorite books you’ve read recently, adoption-related or not? I have an extensive TBR stack, but I’m always interested in more books!
Until next time…
Peace….
Candace
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